#1

Nem én felejtek. Látod? Én most is itt vagyok.

The one who is able to forget is not me. See? I am still here.

(where the fuck are you?)

*

A világ, melyben mi ketten élünk nem ismeri a percek múlását. Mindig várok rád és te mindig vársz. Mindig itt vagy és én mindig pont a rossz helyen. Mindig együtt, de soha nem elég közel. A történetet még el sem kezdtük írni és szinte már érezem a kibontakozás izgalmát. Akarom, mert akarom és kész.

I don't shine.

Starting to worry won't solve a thing at all. I'm blaming this ticking little machine inside my chest - tell the heart not to give a fuck when you are just about to go crazy, when you can't even decide if you are happy or not but above all: you are afraid, you are very afraid. Life is easy, isn't it?

Ez marad.

Remélem, nem gondolod, hogy akár egy pillanatra is elfelejtettelek volna szeretni.

I have a whip and it is superpink

U NO entertain me?
Right, so I have to do it myself, but what if there aren't any ideas popping up in my head? Seriously, what is a girl supposed to do when she can't get no sleep? (By the way, fuck the rule of double negatives!) I'd like to say it's my happy time but a happy time needs happy little fingers and the delusion of a certain someone - well, thank you, not tonight. I don't want to dip myself into anything exhausting for at least three more days. At least we are still flying free. (Although maybe it's rather called the free-fall of our life.)

Minden este eljön az a pillanat, amikortól elalvásig olyannyira hiányzik, hogy ordítani tudnék. Csak fekszem, mint egy darab fa az ágyban és a legérthetőbben megfogalmazva: utálom az egész világot. Mindezt szívből teszem, több órán keresztül, amíg hozzám nem ér és el nem alszom.

Miután ez megtörtént, én szinte teljesen biztos vagyok abban, hogy itt fekszik mellettem reggelig.

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Szavak nélkül

Leginkább csak mozdulatok történnének közted és köztem, legalábbis így jó darabig biztos, hogy semmi másra nem lenne szükség. Ha el akarnál kezdeni beszélni, azonnal szájon csókolnálak és máris néma lennél. Tudod, hogy igazam van. Az egésszel csupán annyi a gond jelen pillanatban, hogy képtelenség ebben a percben elkövetni ezt a fajta némaságot.

Túl messze vagy és én mindent megátkoznék körülötted. Mindenkit, aki láthat, mindent, amihez hozzáérsz. Megérdemlik. Megérdemlik ezért a rohadt nagy ürességért ami jobbról-balról körülvesz. Bármerre fordulok, te nem vagy ott és ez szemét dolog, kegyetlen, mert belül mindennek a fordítottja játszódik le: percenként felkap a szél, mintha csak álmodnék - már épp kezdeném belekarcolni a nevem a bőrödbe, amikor hirtelen újra lent vagyok a földön.

SUOMI. Do I need to say more?

Please

Please don't write any comments on my previous post. Don't ask me why and don't say it's not hopeless because - just as well as I do - you know: it is. I don't feel hate, I have no regrets, it happened and it was more than beautiful. I'll always love every memory, these little pieces of time that - in my head - are connected to you. It was a fantastic journey. Our story might had to end but it will always be dear to me. Pointing fingers on each other won't make any sense, so please, don't even think about it. It's our mistake, we both are guilty. But you should try to be happy because it was real. It happened and it will remain unrepeatable. At last, I am happy.

We rise n shine n fall

In a few days this post will be moved to my other blog and probably I am going to delete these words from my tumblr - only because my tumblr’s not a good place for anything pathetic and miserable. I am talking about two persons - you and me.

See, what once was love and friendship is nothing but the sickest kind of rivalry now. No matter which one of us turned it into a competition first but one thing I know: I am not fine with it, I hate it and even though some catchy emotions like hatred and revenge took you away from me, I just can’t fight you. I respect everything we once had but let’s say it now: we fucked it up, didn’t we? Don’t know where and when, maybe it was me, maybe you - and maybe I am wrong when I say, but at last I have to say it (and there is no way back, it’s on my tongue and I’m afraid if I swallow this shit once again I’ll choke): you have become a bad person. I still remember loving you and feeling your good heart. Now the heart is nothing but a jar of fury and poison. Is this what you really are? Sometimes I wonder if I have ever been right about you. Or is this all you ever wanted?
The truth is, you can only hurt me if I let you. Keep trying if you want to (and it seems you are enjoying the idea of hurting me) but that will only make you a bad person. Nice intentions. Fall into yourself and think it through. The only thing I know is that I have grown tired of this shit between us. I have grown tired of you, we have grown apart and no matter how sad it actually is but this will never get any better. Shining with you felt good and I am grateful. Thank you, anyway.

Source: Gotthyka's Tumblr