Knowledge

"Tudni gyakran fájdalmasabb, mint nem tudni. A tudás fájának gyümölcse pedig sokkal inkább Lucifer, Mefisztó és Woland ízlésének megfelelő."

Winnie The Pooh Vol. 1.

- Pont jókor jössz, mert ez a nap 
   legjobb része.
- Melyik az a rész?
- Az, amikor te meg én mi leszünk.


(Micimackó)

I'll take my chances in the here and now

I just finished my dinner (French toast, thanks for the girl next room - you always save me from starving - plus info: I have a huge pot of chicken stew in the fridge but of course I was starving), now I am so ready to drop some lines.

This was a crazy weekend!!!!!!!!!

Arrived at my grandma's on Friday afternoon and nothing special happened 'till my dad called a friend who asked us to visit him. No one told me this was going to be dangerous. I have never met this guy before and just when I was shaking hands with I realized: he was crazy!!! Called us in to his house and that's when I got my first glass of Jägermeister. The first glass. Then one another, and another, counted until six then I was lost. I had a few beers too when he decided to go out. Okay, we found a good pub right in the city center. My hands were already grabbing a nice glass of gin-tonic when I took a seat. I already felt like falling from the barstool but okay I'd have had one more drink, of course, me - already burning with animal instinct. My dad... he was like...sipping a golden river of whiskey. Actually 'till the river went dry. And how the night turned out after couple shots at the bar? WASTED. We were so wasted. And the next day was living hell. Slamming through my hangover I wasn't able to get out of my bed for 2 hours after waking. I wanted to vomit but I could not. It made my cross even heavier to carry. So, with a bad after-taste in my mouth, I was just.......left to bleed lol, suffering for hours 'till mom made me some chamomile tea and it really worked! Rebuilt me in 30 mins, so my dearest darlings, whenever you feel like having the hangover of the year, just remember: chamomile tea will help your recovery. Useful advice, believe me, my mom is a genius. ;)

Yesterday evening I was just too tired to go out with the others and to be a part of a countryside-party. I rather watched Star Wars and Desperado. Mom's birthday went fine. Nice presents and fantastic food. Never spent so much time in front of the sink in my life. Damage to black nail polish, bahhh.

Today was a quiet day. I came back to Szeged and life is the same boredom again. Let's sweeten it with a slice of Dobos.(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3f/Dobos_cake_(Gerbeaud_Confectionery_Budapest_Hungary).jpg)

See you soon bleeders!

Let's take it from the top

I owe you this one, so let's get down to the business as Christina said ;) 11th of September. Gyöngyvér turned my world upside down again. Also their guest, Nova Prospect rocked my world quite well, geez that chick just have the throat and the voice, I am so jealous. ^^ I love their music, hope they'll get some fame soon because a band like that should reach every goal, every country, every dream.

OK, Gyöngyvér (yes sure my only fav was there though in a kinda funny position and with the biggest earrings that the world has ever seeeeeen) was FANTASTIC and orgasmic, what more can I say? Image, design, new album, stage, performance, clothes, make-up, singer awww and guitarist awww, the best new songs, really trust me their new album left me amazed and breathless. More and better than what I was waiting for. And Angelina Jolie should be proud now that she is the cover girl. It was a wonderful night. I was flying kind of in an other dimension but sober enough to remember all clearly forever. It's about dancing, dancing, dancing. And well there he was: the bastard I've known for 5 years now and I was trying to taste some hope on his lips and breathe some freedom in but he is not the one I thought he'd be. Selfish. Egocentric. Left me feel like I'm foolish and sooo damn cold. Now that IS heartless. And silly me I just went to see him last Friday again for a good fuck nothign else but got more depressed then ever before in my life when I got treated like a dog dog dog oh so do me a favor, kiss my ass a-hole and choke on dust. Even if sometimes ppl like being used and fucked like there was no tomorrow, men just cannot do this...playing with girls like that, that was an unfair game, because there was no happiness neither was joy, one climax and then I'd kiss the wall. Nice I can say. Tell you what: even bitches want to be happy for a few hours. It's not about the sexy dirty thing itself - it's about pretending we're happy. It was a nightmare, thank God it's over. Make no contact please. I'd only curse your existence to hell.

So now what do I have? I miss my SweetNuts, you know I like crazy girls...nuts girls...whohooo and missing my Gothica, Timee Valo, and would be nice to see Sweetheat again. See him better.

So, here is a link to a short video 'bout my 11th September night, enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWnS_6eTYpM

One more thing to mention: I love this mind-reading, sparkling, super fast dom, Robward. Maybe this is an unhealthy passion and obsession now but being crazy just makes me feel so free. I love this man. Love every interview, his hands in that sexhair, every worn-out shirt, when he is unshaven, when he is pale, when he is tan, when he is Edward or Art or just simply Rpattz, the same loser like everyone of us, with the same toothache, bad times, happy times, fears, putting his soul into his music. Now that times are hard, I know music will save your life and remind you how to smile. But anyway, I love the whole Twilight story no matter what. The most beautiful teenage vamp story ever. So sad it contains no sex scene. :)

School. It's the same old song and you all know me. I'll really try to be up by 11 tomorrow haha and I already know I'm going to disappoint myself HAH.

Cigarette, cigarette, come and burn my soul away.

ps. Alan you better hurry up with True Blood Season 3, life is boring without those bloodsuckers! ;)

I wonder...

if everything I publish here will appear on my facebook wall? That'd be scary. OK, I'll probably get scared like shit in 2 mins. :) What have I done again? :D

I should...

I should update my blog, I know chickens, I know and you can kill me, I'll try to update asap but life is getting harder. What's happened...I should mention the new album by Gyöngyvér and their show. Should mention a bunch of assholes - men, of course. Should mention Sweetheat (aha, sweetheat). Should talk about Robward who is ruling my world and makes me wanna jump. Higher higher higher. And The Twilight Saga. My new childish addiction and I am so damn proud of it. And the nights I spent in the capital. I'll try to write everything down. Thanks for your patinece. And support tby789, get your panties ripped @ the office http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4871509/1/The_Office

Night! xoxo

ps. proof he is watching over me http://twitpic.com/in268 ;)

Do you remember this one?

"Kérdeztem, miről szóljon, Ő meg azt mondta, "Viccelsz, a dugásról, csak szép szavakkal!", uh, arról szól. Sokan átkozzák a felejtést, én áldom. Csak a szamár örül annak, ha lóvá teszik, a többiek meg jobb, ha örülnek, hogy a tudat létezőnek tartja a múltat, és fekete fehérré teszi. A lélekben úgyis örök a jelen, minek legyen folyamatosan a szemünk előtt! Az egymásra találás fiziológiája igen furfangos. Fiatal lány beléd szeret, te csak addigra szereted meg, mire ő már más figyelmére vágyódik. Ez persze kifacsar téged, szolga leszel, ő meg elhagy, mert ettől elveszíted magadból azt a részed, akit egykor megismert. Nem vágja a törvényt; hogy ha olyat mutatok, aminek örül, eltűnök benne, ha annak örül, amit mutatok, még ami hiányzott belőlem, is megszületik benne. Elhúz. Mire végre elfelejted, jelentkezik, hogy mégis rájött, ki vagy neki valójában. Ekkor, ugye, nem akarod, elküldeni a 'csába, mert szereted, mégis elküldöd, hisz' csak még messzebbről találhat rád igazán. Mikor végzősen ráeszmél, hogy elhízik, megöregszik, gyerekeket akar, Jesszusom, egyedül marad, addigra meg már elszalasztott téged, aki a legjobb társ lettél volna a világon. Bele menjek jobban? Olyan leszek, mint Tweek, a South Parkban.:) A lányok?! Arra büszkék, hogy egy férfi soha sem fogja kiismerni őket, de azt nem említik, hogy ők sem magukat. Azt szeretik bennünk, ha szeretjük őket, de olyanok vagyunk, mint amikor nem. Elküldetik magukat, ha el akarnak küldeni, és nélkülünk akarnak megismerni minket. Könyörületet adnak a szeretetünkért. Irányítani akarnak, de azt mondják, legyünk férfiak. Császárt akarnak szolgájukul. Minket gyilkolva próbálják megmenteni magukat, és ellöknek, amikor segítenénk. Magukat bántva minket sorvasztanak el. Náluk, a bezárkózás és a dialógusból kilépés a helyzet abszolút megoldása. Szentségbe bújtatják a gyengeségüket, és égig magasztalnak minket, ha azt akarják, hogy eltűnjünk. Azt mondják, repüljünk előre, s, majd ha ők is megtanultak magasan szárnyalni, utánunk jönnek. Mintha hűtőbe tehetnénk a szerelmet, az egymás nélkül leélt perceket, és örülnünk kellene az elfecsérelt éveknek. Csakis együtt maradhatunk meg egymásnak! Ez épp arról szól, hogy egymást nevelhetjük fel. Csakis együtt tanulhatjuk meg, amit ezzel kapcsolatban kell!
Külön csak megszokjuk a semmit, az pedig nem magasabban szárnyalás, hanem gyávaság. Bár nem mi vagyunk hivatottak helyettük dönteni, főleg nem az egész létük legfontosabb kérdésében, mi szerint ki legyen gyermekeik atyja. Viszont minden erőnkkel hozzá járulhatunk ahhoz, hogy a legtöbb adattal rendelkezhessenek rólunk ehhez a döntéshez. De bevallom, annyira leamortizálta a kedvem ez a káosz, hogy úgy döntöttem, feladom a kepesztést. Majd rájön őkegyelme, hogy kezet mindenütt találhat, de a szívet, ami az együtt leélt élet eleje, nálam hagyta. Megint belelovaltam magam... basszameg. Ez a dal egy üzenet, a rohadék, mocskos, kegyetlen, szemét szerelemnek, hogy érik a pofon, ... csak szép szavakkal."

(Nap)

Summer moves on

and suddenly I feel better. Like I'd have more opportunity to be closer to my friends or to see them more often. (God I sneezed on my laptop, so does it mean I am really going to see them more often? ^^ )

And hope for me that I can stay in Budapest for the Drugzone show tomorrow night.

I am still nuts. And nuts about us. My George and my Gracie. Yep, so obsessed with that Beautiful Bastard. Sshhhhh.

OK, I have said all I wanted to, only one thing left:

Happiness is having all what you want. Joy is enjoying all what you have. Much more interesting.

Go commando!!!!

So you are curious about how I spent my vacation?

Nothing special, believe me.

First day, I was waiting for the clock to finally tick 10 pm so I could go and pick my sister up at her workplace. Mmm, there was nothing else I could do because I was like a zombie, alarm at 6 am made my day just lazy as hell. Dinner spent with family and friends. Second day: no swimming, the water was freaking coooold. Sunbath? Never. Spent my time in the shade of a tree, reading mmm and "playing" football with my cousins that I had to take "care" of. Okay, once a year. :) So, second night, one man, boy, one crazy boy came around, known each other since we're 14 so...shared a few bottles of wine that night. And the night after. And the night after. My honorary foster-brother showed up too and damn he really can make me laugh so hard all.the.time. with everything he says and they way he says. Okay, my sister's birthday. The notebook had the effect on her. Guess she still cannot believe she is not dreaming, girl you are not, that machine is yours and I'm taking care of it while you are gone. Next day, hm hm I think I did the same, oh my sister had a day off sooo we did swim and had just fun, and later in the evening, what else: dirty drunk mother fuckers. I arrived back home yesterday, oh shit, had to wake up at 7am again soooo early, zombie-day again, but god tell me, why can't I sleep now, and could not the night before, I mean no matter how tired and exhausted I am, I cannot fall asleep before 4 am. So, my Sweet Nuts, she is in Robland now and can you hear me Crazy I miss you like hell but have serious fun and okay 6 more days without you then George and Gracie will be fucking back!!! I wish I was rich enough to make a phone call, I mean sex phone with you every night ^^ haha. Your green belongs to me anyway. And THANK YOU for my pre-Xmas present, you're a treasure, Nuts!

So I am home again. Today is daddy's birthday and I should do my very best to get my ass outta bed around 8-9 am, God, I am optimistic, I will do it! Hm, I guess I should watch a movie now and fall asleep as soon as I can. Still have to burn the disc, Love in the time of cholera - I want to see it again and now!

Good night sweetheart.

Oh and Lili, thanks for re-writing my story by walking in to my life. You are the playmate I was praying for. ^^

XoXo

Bright bright morning

Going on vacation today, Lake Balaton, 6.30 am I feel like a zombie, 2nd coffee, some good songs and I still don't feel like waking up, have to get ready in 30 fucking minutes so wish me luck because I feel like shit. :)